Why So Sad? x The Ben Raemers Foundation
We shot this short film during our time in Glasgow in the summer of 2022.
I had organized an event in partnership with The Ben Raemers Foundation and the Scottish Association for Mental Health. Nike SB provided support and got team rider Chris Jones—who is also studying to become a certified counselor—up for the day.
The Loading Bay Glasgow were amazing hosts.
A few of us rode bikes around Glasgow, we met up at the Loading Bay and skated. Then, we stopped and everyone gathered on the big steps by the bowl. Chris and I spoke on personal experience and learnings so far, Susie—representing The Raemers Foundation— and Liam and Robert—from the Scottish Association for Mental health—spoke about the work they do and the services they provide.
After that, I sat down with Rob Mathieson and we recorded the conversation around which this video is structured.
Hopefully it helps you to get some perspective on how the events we experience in our lives shape us and how understanding some of those processes can give us a bit more direction, a bit more of a map, when it comes to navigating these shifting seas we call emotions.
I’ve heard it said that, “Childhood lasts a lifetime.”
If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally please connect with a health care professional for support and guidance. The family doctor can be a good starting point.
Alternatively, or for crises, you can reach out to one of the resources listed on the support page at the Ben Raemers Foundation
Further learning:
Adversity & Development:
- What Happened to You? Book by Dr Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
- CDC page on childhood adversity
A Front Rock and Four Books
Front Rock:
Mariners stadium in Seattle, Photo by Ben Wall
Our friends up at 35th North in Seattle partnered with their local baseball team as well as the ever-awesome Skate Like a Girl and Nike SB. The result was this ramp plus in-stadium skate lessons for kiddos.
With that, here are four books with great potential to expand your worldview.
Book One:
What Happened to You? by Dr Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D and Oprah Winfrey Continue reading “A Front Rock and Four Books”
Why So Sad? Comic | What’s Up With the Trees that Illustrate Our Emotional States?
The part of the comic where I got a couple of questions are the Trees.
The trees show where our brains are most active based on how we’re feeling.
The emotions we feel arise based on our circumstance—the external and internal stressors we’re encountering.
How we feel, and what associated thoughts accompany those feelings, can be different for different folks depending on what you experienced growing up—what your auto-brain came to expect to encounter in this world.
Auto-brain works very fast, rapid-response style.
First—healthy green tree: When we are calm the auto-systems plus the Cortex* are active.
*Cortex = the rational, planning, creative part of the brain—the part that is most uniquely human. (Worth noting for the Neuroscience students out there, we’re using ‘Cortex and ‘Neocortex’ interchangeably here)
Scan to the second tree: Stress causes our brain to move energy (fueled by glucose) away from the Cortex towards more base-level fawn-freeze, fight-flight systems. When this response is triggered we have less access to our Cortex and are less able to think clearly. Our decision-making capabilities begin to suffer.
Here, in the Limbic System, to be regulated we need to feel connected to a trusted group. That need for connection boils down basic survival. Humans did not flourish as lone-wolves (neither did wolves for that matter) We did so in cooperating groups: tribes & villages.
To feel disconnected for any reason can—at its most extreme—trigger full existential terror. To be alone in the wilderness is not a recipe for success. It induces more fear. Depression itself drives a sense of alienation and disconnection. When this state is chronic the thought that we will never be useful again can arise and thoughts of suicide can emerge.
If we are experiencing thoughts of self-destruction, we in dangerous territory. Asking for and getting some help is vital. Continue reading “Why So Sad? Comic | What’s Up With the Trees that Illustrate Our Emotional States?”
Why So Sad? x Taquería Los Puñales
I sat down with my friends David and Brian, the owners, and operators of my favorite Taquería. We talked about opening a restaurant at the onset of a global pandemic, what it means to run a business serving a community, how our childhood traumas affect our adult brains and how we find a path to healing from the pain those rough experiences imbued on us.
This interview took place in June 2022 right around the same time we worked together with Brian, David & the Los Puñales Taquería crew, as well as Portland recycled skateboard experts, MapleXO, to raise some $s for Quest Integrative Health as part of the “Why So Sad?” mission and the Taquería’s 2nd anniversary.
John:
Los Puñales is two! How does it feel so far and what would you say are the biggest lessons you’ve learned while you’ve been building the brand and business within the Portland community?
Brian:
I can’t believe we’ve made it two years. We opened in June 2020, three or four months into the Pandemic. It was a really tough time and we just said, “Let’s do this. Let’s see how this goes.” Somehow it worked out.
We went into it thinking something like, well, we’re the only new restaurant in a market where everything is closing. So, that seemed like an opportunity that the pandemic provided, and it worked out.
In the last two years, the learnings are that when you make food for yourself that you put love into because it’s food you want to eat, nothing else matters, everything will fall into place as long as you do that. Continue reading “Why So Sad? x Taquería Los Puñales”
Why So Sad? Glasgow 2022 Event
On August 6, a few of us rode around Glasgow hitting a couple of parks and spots on our way to…
…The Loading Bay Skatepark where we had a fun little jam session…
…followed by a panel discussion with The Ben Raemers Foundation and The Scottish Association for Mental Health.
My main point is that this subject is not as scary as we once thought. There’s a lot we’ve learned over the last few years and some of it I have found really valuable in managing my own emotional wellbeing. Continue reading “Why So Sad? Glasgow 2022 Event”
Why So Sad? Summer ’22 | Post 3
This is the third of three essays.
Summer ’22 Essay 1
Summer ’22 Essay 2
Why So Sad? Encourage Self-help and Other Support Strategies
“People underestimate their own therapeutic powers…The most powerful buffer in times of stress and distress is our social connectedness…” —Bruce Perry
Key Concept: Being “well regulated”, being “dysregulated”, what that means & what we can do about it
October 1990.
My dad gives me the Beastie Boys album Paul’s Boutique for my 13th birthday. He passes it to me over the edge of his hospital bed.
“I’ll take you fishing this summer, John,” he promises. Continue reading “Why So Sad? Summer ’22 | Post 3”
Why So Sad? Summer ’22 | Post 2
(This is the second in a series. You can find Essay 1 here)
Heads up, this essay discusses the topics of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Why So Sad? What happened to me is not my fault
We’ve talked about how we all have different experiences growing up while our brains are developing. As our brains take in that vast array of childhood experiences, automatic stress-responses get set up. It’s a good thing for survival. Bear attack does not warrant time to reflect poetically. To survive, your body needs to respond like lightening. So, over time patterns get impressed into our brains. Signals from our senses are attached to appropriate levels of stress response. Brain senses unfamiliar dog growl, or the rattle of a viper’s tail? Danger alert! Deploy adrenaline, action stations! This is great in many situations, but we have also developed our highway-laced, fossil-fueled, cheap-abundant booze-filled, internet-connected world faster than evolution can keep up. In this new environment these same systems can become what we call “maladaptive”.
Here’s an example: for me Continue reading “Why So Sad? Summer ’22 | Post 2”